Why does my child get bullied? What can I do to ensure that my child does not get bullied?
Parents of children who are victims of bullying often have the “why me” moment where they wonder why when there are so many other children around – it is only their child who gets picked on by bullies.
While wishing that it was someone else who got bullied is not the best thing to do – it is important – even vital for parents whose children get bullied to ask themselves this question. And try to find an answer.
While it may seem like bad luck for a child to be bullied by his friends and peers – it is actually not just bad luck that leads to the bullies picking out a particular child.
Bullies pick on children who feel small.
Why does a child feel small? Who makes a child feel small?
In many cases it is the parents who make their child feel small and they do it without intending to.
When parents say things like –
“Can’t you do anything right?”
“He can do it why can’t you?”
“You are useless”
The aim of these words is to motivate their child to do better. But that does not happen. Words like these make children feel worthless and incompetent. The comparisons with other children make them feel that they are not good enough. This results in them feeling small – even if they are big physically.
When children are compared with others – when they are told they are not good enough and that others are better than them – they become desperate to do whatever they can to be like others. They are ready to do whatever it takes to become like others. And it is this desperation to fit in that bullies take advantage of.
Bullies pick on children who are desperate to fit in. They are able to pick on these children because these children feel that they are not good enough – that they are not their equals.
If you want to keep your child safe from bullies – love, support and accept your child.
Children who are accepted by their parents for who they are and are loved unconditionally – develop the mental strength to stand up for themselves.
Such children don’t get bullied.
If you want to keep your child safe from bullies – love and accept him as he is.
Read here for research on bullying