“Why is my child not studying for exams?”
“I am getting really worried – my child is just not studying!”
“My child is on his phone all day – and when he is not – he is either sleeping or is out with his friends! What is wrong with him?”
As the exams come closer – if you are the parent of a teen or a preteen – you may be asking all these questions in utter panic.
But do you know that you are not the only one in the house who is panicking?
There is someone in the house who is just as worried as you are – or perhaps even more worried than you are. And that person is your child.
Your child may look unconcerned. Your child may pretend that he is lazy. But he is not.
He knows that the exams are now really close. He knows that there is too little time left now for him to study all that he needs to study. He knows the consequences of doing badly in his exams. He knows that you are already upset about him not studying and that you are likely to get even more upset with him if he does badly.
What does knowing all this make him do?
The terrible consequences of not doing well in the exams are so frightening – that he is frozen into inaction.
He is looking for a route to escape.
There have been cases where children have physically run away from home because they are afraid of exams – yes.
But most children don’t do that.
They escape into the virtual world. They use their phones and other devices to escape the reality that is staring them in the face.
They go to sleep and pretend they are lazy. Actually they are just scared.
They prefer to be called lazy rather than dumb or stupid.
They are happier when they hear people say “Oh ! He is very intelligent – but he did badly only because he was too lazy to study”.
Than if they hear people say “Oh ! He studied a lot but he was still not smart enough to pass”.
Don’t add to his fear by constantly telling him “If you don’t study – you will fail” . He already knows that.
Help him to study better.
There are so many small things that children do not understand about studying and exams. With our experience in taking exams we can help them through these challenges if we just make the effort.
Help don’t hinder your child’s progress. Think before you speak. And think before you act.