When we talk to children – it is very important to focus on whether we are communicating or talking.
Several times even when we are around our kids all the time – even when we are saying things to them we fail to connect with them.
Why does this happen?
Because several times we are talking at our children – we are not talking to them. Which is why we may find that what we are saying is having no effect on them. We may find that what we are saying is just bouncing off them. Even though there is no possibility of them not hearing what we are saying – they are hearing what we are saying but they are not listening.
When we want to connect with our children – it is not enough to talk – we need to communicate.
Talking is not communicating.
Communicating consists of talking and listening.
If you don’t listen to your child – you cannot expect your child to listen to you.
When we tell our children what to do, what not to do, how to do and how not to do – we are not talking to them – we are instructing them.
You cannot communicate unless you say something and then listen to the response with open ears and an open mind.
When we talk to children we build their vocabularies. We empower them with the power of expression. They no longer need to shout or cry to have their needs met. They can express themselves in speech with the words in their vocabulary.
When we talk to children – we build our children’s confidence. When an adult pays attention to what a child has to say – it makes the child feel important. Parents are the most important adults in their children’s lives – and when they listen – children feel like they matter. They feel confident because their thoughts and opinions matter to the most to the most important people in the world.
When a child has a rich vocabulary and is brimming with self-confidence – he feels powerful. Make sure to listen when you talk so that you are communicating.
Read Steven Aitchison’s article here where he enumerates 37 ways to communicate better with children