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When you correct your child – there is a right way to correct your child and a wrong way to correct your child. Make sure you are doing it right.
We need to correct our children when they make mistakes. A large part of our role as parents involves showing children the right path or the right way to do things. But there is a right way and a wrong way to correct children when they make mistakes.
When we scold children – in most cases we are upset too. We are annoyed and upset and irritated with what our child has done. And so – when we begin to scold our child – we are often – not thinking about what we say.
What our child has done is probably embarrassing and we are feeling ashamed. We are ashamed of our own shortcoming. Our own failure to convey to our child that he should not have done what he has done. Or our own failure to stop our child from doing what he has done.
But when we put forth this feeling of shame – we say it like this to our child – “You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Have you said that at some time? Yes – we all have. And it is not good.
When we scold children for doing something wrong – it is important to remember not to confuse guilt with shame.
The purpose of correcting your child is – to help your child realize the mistake he has made and show him what he shouldn’t have done and what he should do differently next time.
So helping your child feel guilty about what he has done is OK because guilt makes you sorry for what you have done and take corrective action.
But pushing your child into shame is not OK because it damages your child’s self-esteem. Shame makes your child feel small and unworthy. It strips him of his dignity.
Mistakes are a part of life. It is important to tell children – that yes – it is impossible not to make mistakes. Don’t get crushed by your mistakes. Correct them in a dignified way.
Make sure that you keep your child’s dignity intact. Even when you correct her