One of the biggest fears that all parents have is – that their children turn out to be failures.
As Parents we want our children to succeed. We want them to be successful accomplished adults. And there is nothing wrong with dreaming of success.
What is wrong and dangerous here is the accompanying fear of failure .
We make one of our biggest mistakes in parenting when we teach children that failure is unacceptable. We make one of our biggest mistakes in parenting when we tell children they must always succeed.
Telling a child that he must always necessarily succeed – is the surefire way of bringing up a child who will definitely be a failure.
The fear of failure is dangerous. It can make a child do one of three different things.
(A) The fear of failure will make some children work very hard to succeed because they are afraid of failure. But they will hate what they are doing because their motivation for work is fear. The fear of failure.
(B) The fear of failure makes other children find excuses to avoid participating in things or to avoid doing something new. They are afraid to try anything new because they are afraid that if they try something new they will fail. And they know that failure is not acceptable. From a distance these children look lazy but actually they are not motivated because they are afraid of failure.
(C) And then there will be the children who are so desperate for success then they start doing foolish risky things because they know their will be no competition there and they are sure to succeed. These children are usually labeled bad but actually they are just desperate to succeed. They want to succeed somewhere – because according to them success is everything.
It is important to teach children that failure is not the opposite of success; failure is a part of success you can succeed only when you overcome failure.
Learning to overcome failure is a lesson that you must necessarily teach your child if you want him to succeed.
Carol Dweck in her studies of the brain and human behavior says we should encourage failure within the growth mindset – if we want children to truly succeed