Life is busy. There is hardly enough time to do things right and definitely no time to correct mistakes. Anger is usually the first reaction. But you must never get angry when your child makes a mistake
As adults we make a million mistakes and it takes time and energy to correct these mistakes. But we are quick to correct them uncomplainingly because we have made them. We even cover them up effectively.
But when our children make mistakes – we can’t take it anymore.
We don’t have the time and energy to correct our children’s mistakes. How could they do what they did – we ask. And we erupt in anger.
Why did you do this? How could you do this? What is wrong with you? Is this what we have taught you? We yell.
Our purpose is to show our children what they did wrong and ensure that they don’t make the same mistake again – but when we shout – we don’t achieve this.
When you get angry with your child for his mistake – your child begins to feel threatened by your anger.
Your anger makes him forget what he did to make you angry. Your anger makes him feel like he is the victim. He forgets his mistake that caused your anger. As a victim – all he then focuses on is – how to escape from your anger. Since he has forgotten what he did – since he has forgotten what his mistake was – he learns nothing from his mistake.
Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new. And when you get angry your child loses the opportunity to learn and you lose the opportunity to teach. The wasted opportunity to learn – ensures that the mistake happens over and over again.
Anger is never helpful when dealing with a child.
Express your disappointment in his actions clearly and calmly. Explain which behaviour needs to change and why. And watch your child change without a fight.
Show your child that communication is a gift by responding and not reacting to his mistake